open post (steve rogers)

[assembles]

steve rogers / captain america open post.

※ looking for a thread with an all-american super soldier?
※ respond with any character, canonmate or otherwise, and a prompt.
※ open to any format (prose, brackets, commentspam).
※ open to any canonpoint (within marvel cinematic universe).
※ if you don't have any prompt ideas, feel free to throw the ball into my court!
※ you can always refer to the random scenario meme for inspiration.

Comments

[dreor]

[ whelp then Bucky will just have to have another nap and have pancakes later then. that's cruel, Steve. real cruel.

at least it sounds like everything went okay. Bucky will pry him for details later, after they've both rested up and sated their appetites with probably a couple dozen pancakes between them. even if he can't go on the missions themselves, and even though he knows exactly why that's the case, he still wants to know what's going on and what he's missing out on. it helps him feel at least a little involved. even if it's nothing more than Steve reporting back to him.

either way, as long as Steve comes back in one piece, that's all that really matters. and then one day, when Bucky becomes a more reliable and trustworthy companion out in the field, he'll be out there making sure of it. ]

Alright. [ fifteen minutes it is, then. he'll be watching the clock. ] Put your helmet on.

[ he's noticed a significant lack of helmets being worn while on that bike. it's also Bucky-speak for bye, see you soon.

after ending the call, Bucky crawls out carefully from under his blanket fort. fifteen minutes isn't long enough for another power nap, so instead he makes his way over to the bathroom, washing his face with cold water to try and wake up properly. he's still dressed in plain clothes (one of Steve's tee shirts and a baggy pair of sweats,) from before crashing in the tent, his hair falling out of the makeshift ponytail he'd attempted earlier. the bags under his eyes aren't as noticeable, but he still looks like a mess.

eh. it'll do. Steve is home soon enough anyway, and when Bucky hears footsteps in the hall, he always hesitates and waits out of view until he recognizes the sound of Steve's keys jingling and opening the lock. then he steps out from the hall, rubbing the back of his neck as he takes a glance around the fort in the living room. ]

No clue. [ said with a shrug. it was a pretty time consuming project, and he didn't have much else to do while waiting for Steve to get back. ] It was light out when I started.

[assembles]

[Steve actively enjoys filling Bucky in on everything that happens on his missions. Bucky may not yet be at a point where he can come along for the ride, but hearing it second-hand never seems to cause any problems, and so Steve usually goes over all the details with him the following day, or whenever he can.

It reminds him of their time together during the war, how they'd poured over battle plans or decided on debriefing strategies together. They've always been a team, since before they were soldiers even. It feels wrong not to have Bucky out there with him, so Steve does whatever he can to make him feel involved.

It's odd how their life at the moment is a mix of the war, the time before the war, and something new. The battle talk and all those times that one of them wakes up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream, that's like the war. But sharing an apartment and making pancakes, the blanket fort, that's all some sort of call back to Brooklyn. Finally, there's the metal arm and Bucky's hair being long enough to tie into a ponytail, there's the way that Bucky filches all of Steve's clothing and there's the painful conversations they have whenever Bucky slips up, or when a memory of his time as the Winter Soldier comes rushing back unexpected.

They're not the people they were seventy years ago, but how could they be? When it comes down to it, though, he's still Steve and Bucky's still Bucky, no matter what HYDRA's done to them.

Bucky doesn't look well-rested, but he's definitely looked worse in the past, so Steve doesn't comment on it.] Did Natasha help? [Once he's got all the groceries put in their proper place, he pulls a bowl out from one of the cupboards so he can start to put the ingredients together for pancakes.] Also, I should remind you I don't have an unlimited amount of clothing. [Steve doesn't sound all that serious when he says it, but he does wonder why Bucky doesn't just buy himself some more pajamas. Steve's clothes are slightly big on him anyway.]

[dreor]

[ it's not a perfect situation, and Bucky's sure it never will be, but being able to provide a little input when he can helps so that he doesn't feel completely useless. he can sometimes recall mapping out battle plans and strategies, back during the war, and he was still a thoroughly trained tactitian despite the unsavory organization he'd developed the skill with. as long as he could help a little, provide ideas and help ensure a safe return, then he doesn't start continuously doubting his self-worth. that's just sometimes, now.

but he's long since stopped arguing about going out there with them. he knows better now and he keeps his mouth shut, unless it's to tell Steve to be careful or one of his teammates to keep an eye on him (because he's been known for stupid, reckless behaviour,) and he's pretty sure they can all tell he wants to go with them. but one incident is enough and it's still fresh in everyone's minds, and he doubts he's ever going to really have everyone's trust after all that. better to apologize for punching a hole in Steve's walls than to try and make amends after--

well, better not to think about it. Steve makes it back home, however long it takes him and in whatever condition, but he makes it back. they talk, Bucky gets filled in on all that happened, then he can sleep a little more peacefully at night. all things considered, it's more than he could've ever expected, once his memories started coming back and he realized all of HYDRA's lies. ]

It was her idea. [ ... mostly. Bucky had mentioned something about couch cushions and it developed from there. honestly he's both impressed with how it turned out, and disappointed it's not bigger. but he has to give Natasha credit for knowing how to get the supports just right.

he steps into the kitchen, helps with a few of the groceries - though really he's mostly just picking out pancake ingredients to set out on the counter. he likes to feel helpful, but he's also hungry. ]

Then you need to do more shopping. [ he leans against the counter once everything's set out, watching Steve as he gets started. he likes to help with cooking too, when he can, and at least he's not snapping wooden spoons in half anymore. ] Or do more laundry.

[assembles]

[Steve can only hope that the rest of the Avengers will come to trust Bucky as much as he does, eventually. It may have been a rocky start, especially given that mission that went wrong, but Natasha and Sam have both been amazingly understanding, and have done a great job of helping to integrate Bucky back into the real world and make him feel more like a person than a weapon.

Given that they're the two who were almost killed by Bucky, along with Steve, he has faith that the others will come around too. Maybe Bucky will never be an Avenger (and if he did join the team, they'd have to find him a new codename -- "Winter Soldier" has way too much history and too many bad connotations), but Steve is confident that one day he'll be well enough to support them on missions, just like he did back in the war.

Lately, Steve's been eager to know that Bucky's posted at some sniping location and keeping an eye out for him. He misses that sense of safety; he's missed it for a really long time. But he'll be patient with the hope that it will help Bucky be patient in turn, and they can continue to work toward that goal.

He's a little surprised to hear that Natasha brought up the idea of the blanket fort. Steve doesn't know much about Natasha's childhood, except that she didn't have much of one -- but she's probably gone to great efforts to make up for that, to learn about the things regular children did in case she needed that knowledge for some cover. Sometimes Steve marvels at Natasha and wonders how she's even real.]

I think I should take you shopping. [Part of Bucky's recovery is building up a collection of material items that belong to him. He's allowed that now, where for years the only possessions he concerned himself with were weapons -- and even then, they must have been collected from him at the end of each mission. Now he has the right to own things, resistant as he may be to that idea at the moment.

When Steve senses that Bucky wants to help with the cooking process, he shifts to the side to give him some counter space. Something as small as cooking together can do both of them a lot of good.] Can you measure out the flour? The measuring cup's in the bottom cabinet.

[dreor]

[ he has his doubts, to be honest. Steve's teammates would only ever have the barest level of trust in him, no matter how much he recovered down the road. maybe enough to let him carry a weapon, to tag along on the next alien invasion plot, but it's not something he has high hopes for. he's unstable, he knows that, and it's anybody's guess how long it'll take for him to pick up a gun and not have flashbacks of aiming it at the wrong people.

it's a wonder that they let him stick around at all, really. there haven't been too many incidents since he's been picked up from his mad search for answers, but the fact that there had been incidents at all is reason enough not to fully trust him. part of it is his own fault - he refuses things like therapy and counselling, medications, mood stabilizers, anything of the sort - but part of it is beyond his control, and that's the part that scares him. one of his frequent nightmares involves waking up to discover someone's lifeless body on the floor and blood on his hands. no matter how much they try, it'll never be like the so-called good ol' days.

he tries, though. Bucky knows it makes Steve happy when he remembers even little things, even when he thinks they're insignificant little details in the long run. he told Steve what he remembered about the Stark Expo they visited, and that sure seemed to brighten him up, even if he couldn't recall the names or faces of the girls that accompanied them all too well.

so he'll keep trying. it's not worth giving up, not yet. no matter how impossible it all seems sometimes, it's not in him to give up.

and he fully agrees, by the way - Natasha's definitely something else. everything he'd put her through as the Soldier, and only a few hours ago she was making the suggestion to turn Bucky's blanket nest on the couch into a gigantic blanket tent. he was never expecting that level of trust from her in this lifetime. full of surprises, that girl. ]

Careful. You don't want to spoil me. [ pancakes, and shopping for new clothes? even though he's not too comfortable in crowded shopping malls (and incredibly awkward around pushy salespeople--) he has to admit he's at least interested in the idea. since the Helicarrier crash, he's had to steal and barter for what he needed. now that he's here with someone looking out for him, with a generous income, the opportunity's there to actually own somethings for himself. even if it still feels weird for Steve to be the one buying them for him. but it'll be a while before he can start handing out resumes. ]

Bottom cabinet. [ he mutters it to himself as he crouches down, digging through said cabinet and making plenty of noise until he finds the dry measures. he brings them up to the counter and sorts through them until finding the one cup measure, and then reaching for the flour. ] How much do we need for fifty pancakes?

[ shut up he's hungry. ]

[assembles]

[Any doubts that Bucky has, Steve tries to override with his own brand of optimism. Bucky is stronger than he'll ever admit to, but Steve believes in him. He doesn't expect for him to get better over night, but he will get better. Steve has already accepted that Bucky will never be the same, and it honestly doesn't matter much to him. Either way, he's still Bucky, and that's the important part.

It would be easier if Bucky didn't refuse any effort that's made to help him. Steve understands why he doesn't want medication, at least, but counseling could really do him some good. Steve does his best, but he's not trained as a therapist and he sometimes feels like he's not properly equipped to help Bucky in all of the ways that he needs. Sam can pick up some of the slack, but it would probably be for the best if Bucky had a professional talking to him on top of that. Steve hasn't pushed it, but he may bring it up again someday.

Bucky trusts his opinion, most of the time. Maybe it's just a matter of saying it at the right time and with the right words. For now, though, Steve focuses on smaller things -- like being there when Bucky wakes up from a bad dream, or encouraging him to buy clothes, or making him pancakes.]

Maybe I do want to spoil you. [Steve absolutely, positively does. Bucky was tortured for many long years of his life, he deserves to have some nice things now. Besides, making sure that he stays fed and isn't dressing like he's living out on the street hardly counts as spoiling. It's just that Bucky's no longer used to people wanting to look out for him, and Steve's going to do everything he can to change that.

As Bucky goes searching for the measuring cups, Steve takes the last few needed ingredients out of the cabinet -- baking powder, vanilla, cinnamon. When Bucky asks that question, he stop short and stares at him for a good few seconds.] You're serious, aren't you.

[Do they even have enough ingredients to make that many? Steve raises an eyebrow and finally walks over to put the various bottles and bags down onto the counter.] You're gonna have to give me a second. The recipe I have makes twelve. [Which means it's time for some math conversions. Steve steps out into the living room to find a pad of paper and a pencil.]

Are you really gonna be able to eat that many, buddy? [Two super-soldier metabolisms probably means they could put away fifty pancakes without too much trouble, but Steve isn't in the habit of wasting food.]