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open post (steve rogers)
steve rogers / captain america open post.
※ looking for a thread with an all-american super soldier?
※ respond with any character, canonmate or otherwise, and a prompt.
※ open to any format (prose, brackets, commentspam).
※ open to any canonpoint (within marvel cinematic universe).
※ if you don't have any prompt ideas, feel free to throw the ball into my court!
※ you can always refer to the random scenario meme for inspiration.
no subject
Peggy. Peggy is all that matters right now, and damn all the rest.
His grip on her remains tight as a vice as she sobs against him, as if holding her closely enough will somehow make her safe, or undo all of the horrible things that she went through. As if his touch could heal. Maybe, over time, a combination of his touch and his words could mend some of those wounds.
Her tears are warm as they dampen his shirt, and she is alive, and she is real, and if Steve has anything to say about it then they will never be separated again. Bucky had been the first one to go into the ice. Then, Steve. Then, Peggy. Somehow two of them have surfaced again, and that must mean something; it must mean that this was meant to be in its own, broken sort of way. ]
Why are you apologizing? [ His words come out soft, barely audible. He doesn't want anyone else to hear. He moves his hand from stroking her hair to grip her chin, turning her tear-filled eyes up toward his. ] You did get away. You fought your way out. You did... you did better than any of us would have done.
[ Steve wants to move them somewhere else, maybe even back to his apartment, but he also doesn't want to overwhelm her -- and everything outside this building is going to be overwhelming. They'll do it at her pace.
He smiles at her, the lines around his mouth pulled tight. ] I wouldn't let them stop looking for you. [ It's not like the simple act of being reunited somehow makes everything better, but it does make the world seem a little brighter. Hopefully Peggy will come to feel that way too. ]
wow that icon, you're so rude
Not that she would have cared. All she cares about right now is that Steve is there with her, holding her in his arms, and though in her thoughts and haunting dreams she had never been this broken, it's alright.
Steve wouldn't mind, after all. He doesn't mind, now, and she doesn't bother to care much herself, either. ]
But I... [ She exhales shakily, her eyes closing. His touch is soft and it burns her skin, one of her hands reaching for his weakly, keeping it close to her as she tips her head and brushes her cheek against his knuckles. ] I did it. I went into the water. I could have gone elsewhere, but I just... I just wanted it to end.
[ The torture, the imprisonment, her life such as it was-- she's not even entirely sure of what she means by 'it'. Only that she wanted an end, a way out.
Her eyes open, tears drying for the moment, and she fixes her gaze on his. There's guilt in the admission that comes next, fear and grief and surprise too, as if the overwhelming realisation only now truly hits her. ]
I just wanted to be with you.
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Steve clasps their palms together and then draws their hands down from Peggy's chest to rest solidly against her heart. The two of them had found a place in each other's hearts a long time ago -- reuniting like this is like being home again. Peggy must have felt that too, if the only thing she'd wanted to do after escaping HYDRA was to plunge into the icy ocean.
Steve gets it, though. He'd gone through something similar when he'd crashed back in 1945. It had been necessary for the sake of saving his country from the Red Skull's plans, but there had also been an ugly part of him that had figured he was going wherever Bucky had gone, and maybe that wasn't so bad.
Turns out he'd been wrong about that, but at least Peggy had been able to follow him. It's more than he ever thought he'd get from life. ]
Well, it looks like you made it against all odds. [ And he can't help smiling at that. Peggy Carter truly is an impossible woman.
His expression falls after that, though, as he's reminded of everything he'll need to tell her. ] Listen to me, Peggy... I know how this sounds, but we're in the year 2013. Both of us were stuck in that ice for decades. It was only last year that they thawed me out.
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All she wants to do now is to break apart, to dissolve into Steve's embrace. The very thought of being this weak goes against everything she has ever believed in, but she can't bring herself to care just now.
And Steve gives her just that. He gives her the support and the gentleness she has long dreamt of, and he doesn't even so much as look at her with judgment or disappointment in his eyes.
Of course, had she an ounce in her to care about her pitiful state at the moment, it would all but vanish with what Steve says next. Her eyebrows knit together, bewilderment and confusion written all across her face. ]
What? No, I... that can't be. [ However long HYDRA kept her - a year or two, perhaps three -, they couldn't have done so for decades. ] The ice-- how would I... how did I survive it?
[ Steve, that she can understand. He had the serum, he was no ordinary human, but she was...
The vague memory of getting subjected to all kinds of experiments flashes behind her eyes; she tenses, looking down at herself. What was she, what had they done to her? They must have done something that allowed her to survive the ice - something that has given her the ability to rip that door out of its very hinges right after she woke up, to fight her way through dozens, if not hundreds, of armed agents. ]
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Comments like that, he'd mainly been able to ignore. He'd told himself over and over again that they weren't true, and his mom had reminded him as often as she could that he was a gift. His bones might have been brittle, but his will had always been tougher than nails. So anything that makes Steve feel like he's weak or fragile hits hard; he can only imagine it's the same way for Peggy.
The news that he just dropped on her at least gives her something to focus on, but her thought process goes in the natural direction: what had HYDRA done, to make her capable of surviving something like that? She hadn't agreed to it, and so no matter what the benefit, that's another wound that she now bears -- and they don't even know the extent yet.
Steve looses his hold on her, drawing back just an inch to give her some space. ] I think that's what they were aiming to find out before you broke out of your room. [ He doesn't look admonishing in the slightest, though; he'd done the same thing in her position, more or less.
He frowns at her, the lines in his face all apologies. ] You might have to let them do some tests on you. Which is never fun, but might be necessary in this case. We have no way of knowing what HYDRA did. [ Which is all true, and very practical, but probably isn't what Peggy wants to hear at the moment. So after a pause, Steve adds: ] It... doesn't have to be right now, though. [ He might get some resistance from SHIELD on that, but he's ready to go to bat on this if that's what it takes. ]
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So much of her has always been a coiled spring, waiting to snap. At men who thought she couldn't do as well - or better - than them, at women who pinned her as some graceless creature simply because of the choices in her life. As if what she fought for wasn't truly worth it.
But it was - it is. She might be a mess and lost completely but she doesn't regret her choices one bit, even if all of them have brought her here. Especially when they've brought here, standing in front of Steve, the man she had thought to be long gone.
Peggy has never had any illusions, not since she received news of her fiancé's death while still wearing her beautiful pearl-coloured dress. There is no such thing as second chances, she's learned that the hard way— or she thought she had.
Right now, she's not sure of anything anymore. And perhaps that's not too bad a thing. ]
No, not-- not right now. [ She nods, parroting Steve's own words. The rational side of her knows that those tests are a necessity, but she has been tested on more times than she can remember, and the very thought of having someone in a lab coat coming anywhere near her has her stomach twisting almost painfully.
One hand still clings to Steve's clothes, as if she's afraid he might just vanish if she lets go, but the other drops, smoothing down the rumpled front of the hospital gown she's wearing. ] These really aren't very flattering.
[ Even a sliver of humour hurts, and her chuckle comes out more as a soft cry than anything else. There's still so much she wants to ask, so much she needs to know - so much she needs to tell. All of it is mucked up in her head, and he doesn't even know where to begin, but focusing on the simpler and more tangible things, taking one step at a time, it may just be the best course of action right now. ]
Where can I... find some clothes? Assuming they're not going to try and lock me up in that room again. [ She tries to say it lightly, but there's worry in her voice, panic, her hand clinging a little tighter to Steve's shirt. Steve would never let them do that again, would he? He would stop them if they tried. The Steve she remembers would, at least. ]
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He's getting ahead of himself, but it's hard to imagine that Peggy won't want to be involved once she's gotten her bearings. He has so much to tell her -- about the Avengers, about SHIELD, about their old friends and what happened to them over the years. For a moment Steve's stomach twists as he thinks of Howard, his life cut short -- but Peggy will be able to meet his son, at least.
That'll be something to see.
It's starting to sink in, that Peggy is here and will continue to be here, that they can have some kind of life together. Both of them are fighters and he doesn't think that will ever change, but maybe... maybe there's still a chance for them to act on those feelings forged seventy years ago.
Keep it together, Rogers. There's no way she's thinking about anything approaching that right now..
Peggy's attempt at humor draws a crooked smile out of Steve, but just as her laugh is broken, his smile is tinged with sadness too. It's difficult to settle somewhere between the grief and anger at what Peggy had been put through by HYDRA and the utter joy and relief that she's here with him. He's not sure if it's selfish -- that depends on her feelings on everything, which she probably hasn't figured out yet. ]
Over my dead body. [ Steve's expression shifts instantly to something firmer, directed at whoever might be watching. Peggy doesn't seem to want to let go of him, so he grabs for her hand and intertwines their fingers before turning to lead them back down the hall. ] This place is SHIELD headquarters. It was sort of born out of the ideas we had back during the war. There's a wing for orientation for new recruits, they can probably get us some clothes for you. And then we'll go from there.
[ He glances over at her, still stunned that she's actually here with him. ] I'm sure you have tons of questions, so fire away.
only a million years later. I'M SORRY
Everything is too much, it's overwhelming. And how she feels about Steve has always been overwhelming, especially when he died (except he didn't die, but she thought he did), but at least it's something more familiar, and more tangible. It's a kind of overwhelming she can handle, unlike everything else.
Her expectant look opens into relief, and she smiles again, exhaling shakily. She can handle herself, she's never not been able to protect herself when she has to, but this situation is bigger than her, and having Steve next to her, stating so firmly that he won't let them take her anywhere, is more reassuring than anything else could be right now.
It's not that she needs him to protect her, but God, she does. And she wants it, too, right now especially.
Her fingers twine with his and there's a flutter at the pit of her stomach, but the feeling is bittersweet almost. She can't help but think that in any other context, in a normal context, this would be rather romantic, but there's sadness mingled in there right now, and concern. She likes it nonetheless; she never got to hold Steve's hand like this. Or dance with him. Never. ]
I'm... I don't even know where to start, honestly. [ She huffs out a nervous chuckle, shaking her head and thinking for a moment. Her voice is still a little shaky, and she swallows dryly in an attempt to even it. ] Are you— you're still fighting? Is there a war going on right now? Or are you an agent for this SHIELD?
NO WORRIES life happens
He's seen all of the reports in history texts and biographies, speculating about their relationship and whether or not they had been involved. There's no account of the kiss they'd shared before Steve boarded the Valkyrie -- Colonel Phillips had kept his mouth shut, apparently -- and it's nice to have at least that one secret.
Except that it doesn't need to be a secret now, if they don't want it to be. Steve holds in everything he's feeling on that front, though, because springing it on Peggy right now would be wrong. Once she's had a chance to catch her breath, once they're in a quiet and fairly private place together -- maybe then. If he can work up the nerve.
Steve's patient as Peggy gathers her wits and tries to sort through all the questions that must be running through her head. He doesn't stop walking, though, wanting to get her sorted out and away from this facility as soon as he can. He tries not to walk too fast, aware that his legs are a lot longer than hers. ]
I work under SHIELD, yeah. And also with a group of people called the Avengers. [ He realizes it probably sounds ridiculous, but hopefully not more ridiculous than the "Howling Commandos." ] They're other people who are like me, but in different ways. You'll probably get to meet all of them eventually.
[ He draws in a breath, trying to force himself to remain calm instead of rambling at her at a mile a minute. ] There's still a war, but it's not the same kind. There's no single front, no one place it's being fought. There's just... conflict. Invasions. [ Alien attacks, but he isn't going to drop that on her right now. ]
<3
Life doesn't often give people second chances, and when it does... it's never like this. Peggy was thoroughly convinced that that part of her life was over, that it was a wish or a dream or a possible future dead and buried, but apparently miracles do happen. Much to her shock— but she's not going to fight it. She'll accept this miracle with open arms, and truly she couldn't care any less who sees them holding hands, hugging, kissing... God, she really wishes she could kiss him and not look absolutely random and possibly a little desperate right now.
But he's talking. There are other important things that don't involve her jumping into his arms, and she tries to focus on that for now, though her hand still clings to his, tight as if he's her lifeline. She nods at his words, paying attention to it all nonetheless. ]
I see. So more of a... widespread situation. And SHIELD takes part in conflict resolution, by having teams such as the Avengers. [ He's right, it does remind her of the Howling Commandos. She wonders if the principle is more or less the same, but she figures she'll learn the details soon enough.
And indeed, it's probably for the best to leave the mention of aliens for later. ]
When you say 'like you', you don't mean... they didn't— [ Her eyes widen a little. ] God, Steve. They didn't replicate your experiment, did they?
[ Erskine died, that's true, but from what she's seen of the world so far, she wouldn't be surprised if someone else had been able to recreate the serum. ]
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All the same, Peggy's picking up on the situation she's found herself in with an impressive swiftness. Not that Steve would expect anything else from her. She'd been captured, possibly tortured, traumatized, only to wake up decades later -- and yet she's keeping up just fine.
Steve still can't help but be in awe of her.
Her assumption about the serum is understandable, given how obsessed people had been with the idea even back during the war. He'd been almost one of a kind, and given what he'd accomplished, of course people would want to try it all over again. ]
People tried. A lot of people, from what I've heard. It never ended well.
[ In fact, one of his team members is a result of that, but Steve doesn't think he should be airing Bruce's dirty laundry right now.
A few more turns in the hall, and they reach Orientation. There's a woman seated at the check-in desk who does her best not to look completely overwhelmed as the two of them walk up to her. ]
Hello... [ Steve glances down at the woman's badge. ] Marcia. Could you help us get Miss Carter a change of clothes? [ He looks over to Peggy. ] Are you hungry?
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So, taking all this in like she's just being briefed on a mission or instructed in a new place's culture and history helps a lot, and while she feels her insides turn and twist whenever she realises she's completely out of place and time —which happens about every few seconds—, she ignores it in favour of being in control. Feeble as that control might be right now.
She nods as Steve explains everything, or as much as he can in such a short period of time. She'll want to know more about those attempts at replicating the Super Soldier program, but that's something that can wait, and as they reach the woman sitting at the desk, her attention shifts momentarily.
There's a brief moment where Peggy wonders if she ought to let go of Steve's hand before the woman sees them, but he doesn't draw away, so neither does she. She smiles instead, mustering just enough energy to keep some balance and confidence that almost makes it look like she's perfectly fine. ]
I'm... [ Said attempt at keeping a stiff upper lip is undermined by her grumbling stomach. She presses her lips and lowers her eyes, but keeps her head tipped up anyway, a somehow perfect picture of composure. ] Actually... yes, I am. A bit. Now that you mention.
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He's not surprised that Peggy is hungry; he'd been famished after he woke up too. These days, though, he's pretty much always hungry. It's a less fortunate side effect of the serum. ] Me too. [ Steve squeezes Peggy's hand as he looks back to Marcia. ]
So, a change of clothing and some meals to go, if that's doable?
[ The woman presses up from her desk and nods twice in quick succession. ] Of course, Captain Rogers. Feel free to have a seat out here and I'll be right back with those things.
[ She's gone in a flash, so Steve does as she suggested and heads over to a row of seats in the waiting area to sit down, pulling Peggy along with him. Once they're both seated, he finally releases her hand. ] Once you've changed and we have some food, we can head back to my apartment. I don't think anyone is gonna stop us from leaving. [ And if they do try, they're bound to regret it. ] We can decide what to do from there.
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She is, however, surprised by the degree of reverence. She doesn't startle but there's a definite moment where she's taken aback when the woman stands up quickly and takes the request he makes as an order given by a superior officer.
The woman leaves quickly, and Peggy says nothing to it all, choosing to observe rather than comment for now. Following Steve, she takes a seat next to him, letting go of his hand too and letting both of hers rest on her lap, over her hospital gown. Thank God she'll be out of these soon. ]
Right. Of course. [ She can't even begin to think about going to Steve's apartment and being there alone with him, because she's mainly focused on the fact that she's actually going to step outside. What sort of world will she find, how much will have people and streets and everything changed? It's been seventy years, after all. She would be lying if she said that the thought of going outside and seeing the world as it is for the first time doesn't scare her a little —or terrify her a lot. Even if she knows Steve will be with her, and for that reason alone she will be safe. ]
Where do you live? [ A simpler and easier question, then she adds. ] Are we still in New York?
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It's not as if Steve isn't aware of the onslaught that will hit Peggy when they step outside, but it's something that she'll need to get used to sooner rather than later. Better to get it out of the way quick, like ripping off a bandage. And he'll be with her all the way, a luxury he hadn't had when he first woke up.
At her question, Steve shakes his head. ] Washington, D.C. [ Not so far from New York, though, so a visit could be arranged if Peggy was interested in that. ] The building we're in is called the Triskelion. It's SHIELD's main headquarters.
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She nods, not particularly affected by where she is. She was far more used to New York, granted, but she is nothing if not adaptable, and besides, it's not as if either city will seem any less strange (and possibly scary) to her. The worst part is she has little to no frame of reference, she doesn't know what to expect.
But she tries not to think about that too much. Steve will be with her, so it's not as if she'll be left to roam the streets alone. ]
So you live here now. [ There's a soft smile, something fond in the way she adds. ] I always imagined you'd have settled down in Brooklyn.
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He lives here now. Peggy is careful in how she phrases it. She says nothing about home, maybe because she realizes that this doesn't count as that. Steve's still in the process of trying to find a place he considers home, but...
In reality, he's always known it's been more about people than place. ]
I thought about it, but you wouldn't believe what an apartment costs there these days. [ That's the canned response, the excuse that he gives, but it's actually a much more practical reason. He shrugs one shoulder. ] That, and this is where the work is, so here I am.
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She'd figured Steve wouldn't see this as home— or maybe she was hoping, because 'home' could mean a myriad of things, among them a wife, or a girlfriend, any sort of attachment, and she knows it's only been a year for him but she would dread to realise that he would have moved on so quickly. Which is very much the wrong thing to be focusing on right now, but there you have it. Peggy Carter, fresh out of the ice and one of her main concerns is that Steve hasn't found anyone because she's still so desperately in love with him. ]
Understandable. [ She nods, lips pressed. ] Do you think they'll... is this where I'll stay, too? God, Steve. [ There's a soft chuckle as she realizes that she's focusing on the wrong thing. Again. ] I think I'm out of a job.
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He's gotten better about not keeping some of his teammates at arm's length, but it's still pretty touch-and-go.
At Peggy's derisive comment, Steve scoffs in disbelief. ] Peggy, believe me, if you had any interest in working for SHIELD, they would be falling all over themselves to get you on board. [ Maybe he can't avoid revealing some of her legacy to her after all. ] The two of us, we... kind of went down in history. [ Which is still really strange, but Steve manages a smile all the same, hoping to set her at ease. Maybe Captain America is a little more well-known than Peggy Carter, but it's not by much. ]
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I'd have thought that would qualify me as more of a museum piece, rather than a valued agent.
[ Maybe there's a hint of bitterness to it. Peggy hasn't seen nearly enough of this world to know just how differently women are treated these days, but she still remembers how often she was dealt with as someone who was just there to be looked at, and despite being an agent, her fellow colleagues at the SSR treated her as some glorified secretary more often than not. She's not exactly eager to have that happen again.
Not that she wouldn't know how to deal with it, but still. ]
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[ Steve realizes that isn't going to make much sense, and yet he couldn't help the comment from slipping out. Before Peggy can look at him funny, he clarifies. ]
They're, uhh... opening a Smithsonian exhibit about me.
[ There's no doubt going to be information in there related to Peggy as well, but as far as Steve's concerned she should have her own exhibit. It's not up to him, but he can't help but feel that Peggy is getting shortchanged otherwise.
He leans in a little closer to Peggy so that he can place a hand on her shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. ] Anyway, I can guarantee there's a place for you here, if you're interested in that.
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[ Said with only mild disbelief, but quickly she realises that that's not only completely plausible, it's to be expected. She may have not been with Steve all this time, but she saw him before he crashed that plane into the Arctic, saw the mark he made in the world, the kind of legacy he left behind, even after people thought he was gone for good.
Of course there would be an exhibit about him. She shouldn't be surprised in the least to hear it; and perhaps she would have expected it, had she been in this world for any longer.
She leans into the touch, smiling faintly, a hand lifting up and settling over his. ] It's all you, Steve. Even if I wanted that place, I don't belong there.
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He's never had a dream quite like this one anyway. Even his subconscious wouldn't let him hope that much.
Although her comment draws a frown out of him. ] That's not true. You belong wherever-- [ Wherever she wants to belong, Steve planned to say, but the sound of someone clearing their throat grabs his attention as he pulls his hand away.
The clerk has returned, carrying the clothes that were requested along with two lunch bags. Steve is up out of his chair in seconds, heading over to take everything from her. He thanks her, then turns back to Peggy. ] Uhh, the bathroom is down the hall there, if you wanna go get changed...?
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Peggy barely manages not to startle, her hand drawing away, her eyes a little wide and her expression as if she was just caught doing something incredibly untoward. A beat later, and she's regained her composure, standing up after Steve and offering a thankful smile to the clerk before she walks away. ]
Yes, ah... thank you. [ She accepts the clothes from him, glancing down the hallway. ] I shouldn't take too long.
[ There's a moment's hesitance, like she's almost afraid of stepping away from Steve, but eventually, holding the clothes closer to herself, she turns around and makes her way to the bathroom. The clothes are carefully set down on the sink's marble counter, then she looks at herself in the mirror, and breaks down a little.
A little, because that's all she'll allow herself right now. A hand covers her mouth and she lets out a sob that's more of a hiccup than anything, her eyes tightly shut as she tries to keep herself from crying. Everything's too much, and the weight of it all seems to come crashing down on her all the harder now that she's alone and doesn't have Steve's solid presence and support by her side.
She takes a few moments, a few deep breaths. Her hands still shake a little but she ignores it, washing her face instead, her arms too, then dries herself off with the gown she's wearing and gets to changing into actually decent clothes.
It's no more than five minutes before she's stepping back out, looking vastly different and far more presentable than before, even if the clothes themselves seem so strange to her. In a pair of comfortable jeans and a loose shirt tucked in, the plain shoes at least thankfully familiar unlike everything else. Her hair's tied back into a ponytail, which isn't what she'd go for but she didn't exactly have a whole lot of options. ]
I have no idea how fashion works these days. [ Her voice comes out a little shaky despite her best efforts, and she clears her throat. ] Do I look modern?
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Peggy has always presented herself as strong and unflappable to him, though, and so Steve figures that she's holding together just like she always does. When she eventually comes back, he turns toward her, both eyebrows hiked up in surprise.
Seeing her in modern clothing is bizarre, to say the least. Peggy had firmly been situated in his past, trapped in faded photographs and mission reports; a mention here, a mention there. Now she's not only here, but wearing jeans and a modern-style blouse. It both looks out of place to him and makes something loosen up in his chest. This is really happening, one way or another.
Realizing that he's been staring for far too long (and that the receptionist is subtly watching the two of them), Steve clears his throat and nods. ] You look great. [ In reality, she looks a little uncomfortable in clothing that she's not familiar with, but Steve doesn't want to say that to her. It's something that takes time and practice, she'll get there. ]
I think that's everything we need then, right? [ He's still holding onto the lunch bags. ] Ready to get going? [ No, no, she probably isn't, but she's going to have to face the outside world at some point. They may as well rip off the band-aid. ]
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