courtings | open post (steve rogers)

[ It's all she can do to keep a modicum of control of herself, if not her current situation. Approaching things from a logical point of view helps her keep some distance, a detachment that allows her not to break down again like before. Maybe she will (she most likely will) later on, but right now she can't allow herself to. Not here, not while she's surrounded by people and Steve's the only one she trusts.

So, taking all this in like she's just being briefed on a mission or instructed in a new place's culture and history helps a lot, and while she feels her insides turn and twist whenever she realises she's completely out of place and time —which happens about every few seconds—, she ignores it in favour of being in control. Feeble as that control might be right now.

She nods as Steve explains everything, or as much as he can in such a short period of time. She'll want to know more about those attempts at replicating the Super Soldier program, but that's something that can wait, and as they reach the woman sitting at the desk, her attention shifts momentarily.

There's a brief moment where Peggy wonders if she ought to let go of Steve's hand before the woman sees them, but he doesn't draw away, so neither does she. She smiles instead, mustering just enough energy to keep some balance and confidence that almost makes it look like she's perfectly fine. ]

I'm... [ Said attempt at keeping a stiff upper lip is undermined by her grumbling stomach. She presses her lips and lowers her eyes, but keeps her head tipped up anyway, a somehow perfect picture of composure. ] Actually... yes, I am. A bit. Now that you mention.

[ Most people wouldn't say no to a direct order from Captain Rogers. Not that he had actually ordered Marcia to do anything, but he carries a presence with him that's impossible for most people to ignore. Steve isn't sure if she realizes that this is Peggy Carter in the flesh who she's about to help (how fast has word traveled? what security level would be necessary to know about her extraction?), but it doesn't really matter.

He's not surprised that Peggy is hungry; he'd been famished after he woke up too. These days, though, he's pretty much always hungry. It's a less fortunate side effect of the serum. ] Me too. [ Steve squeezes Peggy's hand as he looks back to Marcia. ]

So, a change of clothing and some meals to go, if that's doable?

[ The woman presses up from her desk and nods twice in quick succession. ] Of course, Captain Rogers. Feel free to have a seat out here and I'll be right back with those things.

[ She's gone in a flash, so Steve does as she suggested and heads over to a row of seats in the waiting area to sit down, pulling Peggy along with him. Once they're both seated, he finally releases her hand. ] Once you've changed and we have some food, we can head back to my apartment. I don't think anyone is gonna stop us from leaving. [ And if they do try, they're bound to regret it. ] We can decide what to do from there.

[ Steve had always gotten attention after his experiment, even if not always in the vein he'd have hoped at the time. So Peggy is not surprised to see that that's still the same, that people still recognise him or look at him with something akin to awe in their eye. Nor does she blame them, either— Steve is a rather impressive man. But then Peggy thought he was impressive even before they got the serum in him.

She is, however, surprised by the degree of reverence. She doesn't startle but there's a definite moment where she's taken aback when the woman stands up quickly and takes the request he makes as an order given by a superior officer.

The woman leaves quickly, and Peggy says nothing to it all, choosing to observe rather than comment for now. Following Steve, she takes a seat next to him, letting go of his hand too and letting both of hers rest on her lap, over her hospital gown. Thank God she'll be out of these soon. ]

Right. Of course. [ She can't even begin to think about going to Steve's apartment and being there alone with him, because she's mainly focused on the fact that she's actually going to step outside. What sort of world will she find, how much will have people and streets and everything changed? It's been seventy years, after all. She would be lying if she said that the thought of going outside and seeing the world as it is for the first time doesn't scare her a little —or terrify her a lot. Even if she knows Steve will be with her, and for that reason alone she will be safe. ]

Where do you live? [ A simpler and easier question, then she adds. ] Are we still in New York?

[ Steve has certainly come a long way from the war, where the title of captain hadn't been much more than symbolic. The Howling Commandos had seen him as their captain, certainly, and Steve's opinion had been valued during strategic meetings. But beyond that, his pull hadn't gone very far. It had been about taking on missions, targeting HYDRA, and little else. These days he's respected as a decorated and experienced soldier.

It's not as if Steve isn't aware of the onslaught that will hit Peggy when they step outside, but it's something that she'll need to get used to sooner rather than later. Better to get it out of the way quick, like ripping off a bandage. And he'll be with her all the way, a luxury he hadn't had when he first woke up.

At her question, Steve shakes his head. ] Washington, D.C. [ Not so far from New York, though, so a visit could be arranged if Peggy was interested in that. ] The building we're in is called the Triskelion. It's SHIELD's main headquarters.

[ Peggy had always regarded Steve as the leader he was, the example others were all too willing to follow, even if his title or position may have not always reflected that. She's glad that's changed now, even if she's yet to see just how wide and strong his impact is in this new day and age.

She nods, not particularly affected by where she is. She was far more used to New York, granted, but she is nothing if not adaptable, and besides, it's not as if either city will seem any less strange (and possibly scary) to her. The worst part is she has little to no frame of reference, she doesn't know what to expect.

But she tries not to think about that too much. Steve will be with her, so it's not as if she'll be left to roam the streets alone. ]

So you live here now. [ There's a soft smile, something fond in the way she adds. ] I always imagined you'd have settled down in Brooklyn.

[ For all that Steve's impact is widespread, his guess is that Peggy will have a similar effect. She's been an inspiration to young women everywhere, a feminist icon that a lot of people look up to, and Steve imagines she'll be thrilled to learn all that.

He lives here now. Peggy is careful in how she phrases it. She says nothing about home, maybe because she realizes that this doesn't count as that. Steve's still in the process of trying to find a place he considers home, but...

In reality, he's always known it's been more about people than place. ]

I thought about it, but you wouldn't believe what an apartment costs there these days. [ That's the canned response, the excuse that he gives, but it's actually a much more practical reason. He shrugs one shoulder. ] That, and this is where the work is, so here I am.

[ Peggy can't even begin to think of the impact she might or might not have in this world, or the impact she may have had in the past. It's probably for the best that Steve doesn't mention that right now either, given she has more than enough on her plate as it is.

She'd figured Steve wouldn't see this as home— or maybe she was hoping, because 'home' could mean a myriad of things, among them a wife, or a girlfriend, any sort of attachment, and she knows it's only been a year for him but she would dread to realise that he would have moved on so quickly. Which is very much the wrong thing to be focusing on right now, but there you have it. Peggy Carter, fresh out of the ice and one of her main concerns is that Steve hasn't found anyone because she's still so desperately in love with him. ]

Understandable. [ She nods, lips pressed. ] Do you think they'll... is this where I'll stay, too? God, Steve. [ There's a soft chuckle as she realizes that she's focusing on the wrong thing. Again. ] I think I'm out of a job.

[ It has been a year, but given everything that Steve lost while in the ice, it definitely hadn't been enough time to really move on. He's adapted to the modern world in many ways, but the idea of forging any sort of lasting relationship seems frightening more than anything else.

He's gotten better about not keeping some of his teammates at arm's length, but it's still pretty touch-and-go.

At Peggy's derisive comment, Steve scoffs in disbelief. ] Peggy, believe me, if you had any interest in working for SHIELD, they would be falling all over themselves to get you on board. [ Maybe he can't avoid revealing some of her legacy to her after all. ] The two of us, we... kind of went down in history. [ Which is still really strange, but Steve manages a smile all the same, hoping to set her at ease. Maybe Captain America is a little more well-known than Peggy Carter, but it's not by much. ]

[ What he says has some weight— a lot, actually, and it surprises her to hear it. Still, despite the way her eyes widen and her brows rise up her forehead, she takes a moment, a soft breath, and goes on to add in a somewhat amused and just barely dismissive manner. ]

I'd have thought that would qualify me as more of a museum piece, rather than a valued agent.

[ Maybe there's a hint of bitterness to it. Peggy hasn't seen nearly enough of this world to know just how differently women are treated these days, but she still remembers how often she was dealt with as someone who was just there to be looked at, and despite being an agent, her fellow colleagues at the SSR treated her as some glorified secretary more often than not. She's not exactly eager to have that happen again.

Not that she wouldn't know how to deal with it, but still. ]

Who's saying you can't be both?

[ Steve realizes that isn't going to make much sense, and yet he couldn't help the comment from slipping out. Before Peggy can look at him funny, he clarifies. ]

They're, uhh... opening a Smithsonian exhibit about me.

[ There's no doubt going to be information in there related to Peggy as well, but as far as Steve's concerned she should have her own exhibit. It's not up to him, but he can't help but feel that Peggy is getting shortchanged otherwise.

He leans in a little closer to Peggy so that he can place a hand on her shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. ] Anyway, I can guarantee there's a place for you here, if you're interested in that.

They are.

[ Said with only mild disbelief, but quickly she realises that that's not only completely plausible, it's to be expected. She may have not been with Steve all this time, but she saw him before he crashed that plane into the Arctic, saw the mark he made in the world, the kind of legacy he left behind, even after people thought he was gone for good.

Of course there would be an exhibit about him. She shouldn't be surprised in the least to hear it; and perhaps she would have expected it, had she been in this world for any longer.

She leans into the touch, smiling faintly, a hand lifting up and settling over his. ] It's all you, Steve. Even if I wanted that place, I don't belong there.

[ As her hand presses over his, Steve feels his heartbeat ramp up, letting out a breath in some futile attempt to calm himself down. It hits him all over again, how Peggy is really here and this isn't some vivid dream.

He's never had a dream quite like this one anyway. Even his subconscious wouldn't let him hope that much.

Although her comment draws a frown out of him. ] That's not true. You belong wherever-- [ Wherever she wants to belong, Steve planned to say, but the sound of someone clearing their throat grabs his attention as he pulls his hand away.

The clerk has returned, carrying the clothes that were requested along with two lunch bags. Steve is up out of his chair in seconds, heading over to take everything from her. He thanks her, then turns back to Peggy. ] Uhh, the bathroom is down the hall there, if you wanna go get changed...?

[ Of course Steve would object to that, and she's fully expecting it when he frowns and turns to her, speaking more gravely, as if to make his point all the clearer. She's also fully prepared to counter his words with ones of her own, but before they get to that point, they're interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

Peggy barely manages not to startle, her hand drawing away, her eyes a little wide and her expression as if she was just caught doing something incredibly untoward. A beat later, and she's regained her composure, standing up after Steve and offering a thankful smile to the clerk before she walks away. ]

Yes, ah... thank you. [ She accepts the clothes from him, glancing down the hallway. ] I shouldn't take too long.

[ There's a moment's hesitance, like she's almost afraid of stepping away from Steve, but eventually, holding the clothes closer to herself, she turns around and makes her way to the bathroom. The clothes are carefully set down on the sink's marble counter, then she looks at herself in the mirror, and breaks down a little.

A little, because that's all she'll allow herself right now. A hand covers her mouth and she lets out a sob that's more of a hiccup than anything, her eyes tightly shut as she tries to keep herself from crying. Everything's too much, and the weight of it all seems to come crashing down on her all the harder now that she's alone and doesn't have Steve's solid presence and support by her side.

She takes a few moments, a few deep breaths. Her hands still shake a little but she ignores it, washing her face instead, her arms too, then dries herself off with the gown she's wearing and gets to changing into actually decent clothes.

It's no more than five minutes before she's stepping back out, looking vastly different and far more presentable than before, even if the clothes themselves seem so strange to her. In a pair of comfortable jeans and a loose shirt tucked in, the plain shoes at least thankfully familiar unlike everything else. Her hair's tied back into a ponytail, which isn't what she'd go for but she didn't exactly have a whole lot of options. ]

I have no idea how fashion works these days. [ Her voice comes out a little shaky despite her best efforts, and she clears her throat. ] Do I look modern?

[ Steve waits for her, completely oblivious to what takes place when she goes into that bathroom. Or... not completely oblivious, as he's been in her shoes himself. He remembers how it had felt, when all the excitement had died down and he'd been alone for his first time in the future.

Peggy has always presented herself as strong and unflappable to him, though, and so Steve figures that she's holding together just like she always does. When she eventually comes back, he turns toward her, both eyebrows hiked up in surprise.

Seeing her in modern clothing is bizarre, to say the least. Peggy had firmly been situated in his past, trapped in faded photographs and mission reports; a mention here, a mention there. Now she's not only here, but wearing jeans and a modern-style blouse. It both looks out of place to him and makes something loosen up in his chest. This is really happening, one way or another.

Realizing that he's been staring for far too long (and that the receptionist is subtly watching the two of them), Steve clears his throat and nods. ] You look great. [ In reality, she looks a little uncomfortable in clothing that she's not familiar with, but Steve doesn't want to say that to her. It's something that takes time and practice, she'll get there. ]

I think that's everything we need then, right? [ He's still holding onto the lunch bags. ] Ready to get going? [ No, no, she probably isn't, but she's going to have to face the outside world at some point. They may as well rip off the band-aid. ]

[ She can imagine she makes for a pretty odd sight right now, and Steve isn't wrong either— she's not entirely comfortable. At least the shirt is a soft and familiar enough fabric, but the jeans are thick and stiff and a little too tight in places she wouldn't expect in a pair of trousers, but by the cut she can tell they're supposed to be like this. (God, she hopes they are, otherwise she will make a fool out of herself.)

It's very embarrassing, actually, and having Steve stare at her only makes her feel all the more self-conscious about the way she looks right now. Even though she's covered by fabric, she still feels ridiculously exposed.

But Steve shakes himself out of it, and so does she, clearing her throat quietly and squaring her shoulders just so, smiling as she tips her chin up very lightly. She can do this. Well, maybe she can't, but she can at least act the part. ]

Right. Yes, I... I'm ready. [ She definitely isn't, no, but there's no point in delaying it, and frankly she would much rather step out onto the future than stay inside this place for a moment longer. So, stepping closer, she lets Steve be the one taking the lead and guiding the way, gesturing at the bags he's holding. ] I can help you with that.

[ The thing is that Steve has seen Peggy have to stand up to men who looked down on her a number of times. This situation isn't exactly the same, but he can tell by the stiffness of her posture that she's putting up a front. It's not something he wants to call her out on, though, as it would only make her feel worse. When it comes to adjusting to the future, a lot of it is about faking things -- understanding, comfort, whatever it might be.

It's going to take time for her to get used to being in this century, but if Steve managed to pull it off (more or less), then so will she. He's got no doubts there.

When she offers to take one of the bags, Steve raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. ] It's all right, I've got it. [ They're not heavy, and even if they were, it still wouldn't be a problem. He imagines that Peggy offers mainly out of politeness.

He heads back the way they came, then takes a different turn to lead them to an elevator. He pushes the down button and then turns back to Peggy. ] So... how would you feel about riding on my motorcycle with me? If you want to take a car instead that's fine. [ Though either way the vehicles are going to look new and different to her. ]

[ She knows she can't put up this front for Steve, but then it's not for him that she does it so much as for herself. Right now it probably serves as a good front for those looking at her too, but she has a feeling that won't last for long. She likely won't be able to hide the shock and surprise at the things she'll see once they step outside.

One step at a time, though— and she's not alone. That's the most important thing to remember right now. ]

Alright. [ She follows next to Steve, eyes roaming the corridor and the few people they cross paths with, gaze landing on the lift doors when they stop in front of it. Even the small button lighting up is a source of wonder to her. ]

That suits me just fine. I think I can handle a motorcycle ride. [ God, she hopes so— but she is indeed imagining a rather different vehicle than the one she'll see, and likely much slower too. Once the lift reaches their level and pings, she looks over to see the doors opening, taking a peek for a moment before she steps inside. A bit more modern, but she can still recognise a lift when she sees one, and it's hardly the first time she's used one. Although she doesn't know the floor they're headed to, so she waits for Steve to push the right button. ]

[ The basic concept of an elevator is still the same as it was back in the forties, even though the ones in the current day are faster and more advanced. Steve doesn't say anything about it as he steps inside, only nodding as Peggy agrees to get on his bike. She might reconsider that when she sees it, but she's always welcome to change her mind.

Once they're both in, Steve presses the button labelled "P" and the elevator slides into life, moving so smoothly that it's a little difficult to tell that it's even moving. The Triskelion is a tall structure, so they have quite a few floors to go before it stops again.

Eventually it does, though, and Steve leads them out into the garage. There are a few other cars parked, along with some sturdier trucks and vans that are clearly armored and built to handle gunfire. Steve heads to the corner where his bike is parked and digs into his pocket for the keys. His bike is a Harley, black with silver accents and well taken care of given how it shimmers. Steve tends to it himself, not willing to let anyone else touch it.

He turns back to Peggy with a pleased smile hinting at his lips. ] It's gone through a bit of an upgrade compared to the one you saw me use.

[ The thing is, her choice likely lies between sitting on a bike with Steve or having to get into one of the more modern cars or (God forbid) buses. So all in all, she may just go with what's more familiar, and considering that's Steve, the bike will be her preferred option, if only for the fact that she can hold onto him as tightly as she might need to.

Stepping out of the lift is as weird as it was being in it, but then she feels like her life will be like that a lot for the foreseeable future. Just one strange thing followed by another. Peggy will just have to learn to keep up— and she tries that just now, following after Steve across the garage, her eyes jumping from one car to the next, wide in wonder and amazement. Of course she can tell what they are, and in some cases, what they're for, but they're still vastly different from what she knows, as well as what she was expecting.

Then again, she doesn't really know what she was expecting.

She finally slows down when they reach the bike, and it's... almost obvious to her that it's Steve's. She finds it somehow even more fascinating than all the other vehicles there, but that may just be because of who it belongs to. Taking a few steps closer, she walks around it, tentatively reaching out and tracing her fingers along the leather of the seat. ]

Oh, Steve. It's gorgeous. [ She smiles, giddy and pleased for no discernible reason. ] I think it'll do just fine.

[ It's not as if Steve had been looking for Peggy's approval, exactly, but he does find his chest swelling with pride and relief alike as he watches her examine his bike. It's not an extension of him in quite the way that the shield is, but it's still important to him. Strange as it might be, the way that she looks at it and handles it reminds him a little of how she'd behaved when he'd come out of the chamber after being infused with the serum and exposed to vita rays. Like she's looking at something brand new, but also fascinating. ]

I do what I can to keep her in tip top shape. [ Steve cracks a smile as he runs a hand over the body, chasing Peggy's touch. ] It's only a twenty minute drive to my apartment, so it shouldn't be too bad. [ Although chances are it's going to feel much longer to Peggy, given that she's going to be over-stimulated by all the new sights.

Steve bends forward to unlock the bike and then wheels it out of the parking spot before he arcs his leg up and over and settles onto it, looking more at home there than he has since they first ran into each other. ]

Sorry, I don't have a helmet for you to wear, but I promise I'll drive safely. [ The fact that he never wears a helmet himself is just a small hint of his general recklessness, but that's something Peggy should be all too familiar with. Steve nods to the space behind him. ] Hop on.

[ It's a little bit like that, even if Steve's transformation had been much more impressive. He'd barely reached her height before he stepped into that chamber, but he came out of it with certainly more than a foot on her, the width of his shoulders about twice as wide as hers. And, well... there were also the muscles. It was all really very impressive, she feels that her shock and awe were justified. (The touching too.)

At least this time she doesn't act quite so inappropriately, even if inwardly she's thinking how good Steve looks when he takes his seat on that bike. She quirks an eyebrow, trying to look amused and not like a twenty minute ride out in the future terrifies her more than just a little. ]

I wouldn't have taken you for a rule breaker, Steve. [ She's kidding, obviously. She likes to think she knows Steve better than that.

More than willing to put her safety entirely on Steve's hands, Peggy steps closer to the bike, slinging a leg over the backseat and adjusting herself. Her feet propped on the foot rests on both sides, she wraps her arms around Steve, unceremoniously pressing herself against his back. ]

[ There's no way that Peggy couldn't be joking about that, given that she'd been one of the people who'd helped Steve to break the rules back when they'd flown into enemy territory so that he could invade a POW camp. She and Howard had always had his back with that kind of thing, and it's nice to know that he'll have support like that again.

Not that the Avengers don't also provide Steve with that, but it's different. He's supposed to watch out for them, not the other way around.

For all that Steve had ridden his bike back during the war, he never did so with Peggy in tow, and so he can't help the way that his chest grows tight as she settles in, pressing her body up against his back to hold on tight.

He'd almost forgotten what it was like to have a crush. Steve exhales and then nods, turning the key in the ignition so that the bike roars to life beneath them. He drives it toward the garage's exit, hand slipping down to the underside of the left handlebar to hit a small button there, which triggers the garage door to open. It's one of the few adjustments he'd allowed Tony to make. ]

Here goes.

[ Once the doors have slid open all the way, Steve drives out, taking them onto an empty stretch of road that will soon lead to a main street. All of DC looms out before them, and he can only imagine the look on Peggy's face right now. ]

[ The longer the moment is drawn out, the more difficult it is for her, like any moment she expects to get cold feet and run back into the facility in a panic. She fights the urge to do so even now, though, and focuses instead on drawing as much strength from Steve as she possibly can.

Being this close helps, actually. It doesn't distract her nearly as much as she hoped it would, but he's warm and solid and she can feel his muscles beneath his clothes when her hands press into his chest and abdomen. For once, she feels like this is the best thing to be focusing on, just the feel of Steve's solid presence against her palms. Like that much is tangible and real, and everything else will just be things passing her by.

When he slows near the exit, she nearly gasps at the lump forming in her stomach, a tight knot that nearly makes her sick. She closes her eyes tightly until suddenly there's more light and she can feel the wind on her face, the sound of the people and the traffic around them— then she opens her eyes again.

She could probably think of a few inventive words to say to the sight of the city around her, but she's effectively rendered speechless. With her mouth open wide and eyes even wider still, she finds it nearly impossible to focus on a single thing happening, and it's sheer panic she has to thank for clinging even tighter to Steve, her whole body tense and unmoving. At least it means she won't fall down.

It's impossible. Everything... is so much. She can't even begin to point out all the small yet enormous things that are so shockingly different to her. Thankfully she doesn't have to; all she has to do is hold on until they reach Steve's flat. God, she can't wait until they're somewhere small, quiet and behind closed doors again. ]

[ Steve hadn't really expected Peggy to say anything about the scenery they passed through, packed streets full of foreign sights. He had been speechless when he'd raced into the middle of Times Square to be bombarded with images and technologies he couldn't begin to understand at the time. He's come a long way since then, and Peggy will make the same journey and probably make it look effortless.

Though Steve does notice the way that she clings on to him during the ride, and he knows it's not because she's afraid of falling off. He's the only thing about the world that makes sense to her right now, he imagines. Steve's glad she at least has that much, because he hadn't.

As promised, the ride is a quick one, Steve knowing some of the shortcuts through alleys that allow them to avoid the heavier traffic of the city. He points out his apartment building to Peggy as soon as it comes into view, then eases his bike into his assigned parking space outside.

He turns the bike off, locks it, and then swings his leg over to dismount, turning to Peggy and focusing in on her rather than on their surroundings. If it weren't for the cars and billboards, it would seem like any other semi-residential street.

Steve sets his hand on Peggy's shoulder and gives it a squeeze, staring into her eyes. ] You hanging in there okay? [ He's got the lunch packs hanging from his elbow; hopefully they haven't been jostled too much by the drive. ]

[ Even if she had something to say to all this, the noise of the bike made talking pointless when Steve likely wouldn't be able to hear half of it. In the end silence feels like the only reaction to have, though, and she stays completely stunned for the duration of their trip.

The bike slows to a halt but she barely even processes it, her hands holding onto Steve's sides for a moment longer even as he dismounts, finally letting go. She licks her lips and swallows dryly, taking slow, steadying breaths, eyes just a little wide and not entirely capable from hiding the shock and awe in her expression.

She looks at Steve when he talks, a hand reaching for his arm, using it for support as she dismounts the bike too. ] Yes, I... I'm alright. I think. [ She'll get over this initial clash eventually. It wasn't all that bad, all things considered, so she tries for a smile. ] Thank you. That was... actually, not so terrible.

open post (steve rogers)

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